New Lows

Justin Beiber stars

As a serial bomber.

Cancel C.S.I.

Insult to Injury

Humiliation

Is not to fail, but to be

The panty bomber.

Grease: The Singalong

Because we all want

To hear tone deaf yelling while

We watch a bad film.

Humour in Truth

Michael Cera plays 

The hurdy gurdy on the

New Weezer album.

Life's Like That

Figures I'd have to

Pay a phone bill for the time

I spent getting dumped.

Local News

A man walking his

Cat down the street was fired

At with a shotgun.

Plothole

All the magic in

The world and Madam Pomfrey

Can't fix Harry's eyesight.

Ode to Tim Hortons

How did you cut my

Bagel halfway in half? I

Do not understand.

Tourist Season

I stand at the mouth

Of a river. Your camper's

Leaking excrement.

Pudding Reprise

Chocolate brown sludge.

Brown that is good in my mouth.

Not like poo, that's gross.

First Pudding

Solid, or liquid?

You're fucking gross when you're warm

But In my fridge; bliss

Bathroom

On the wall in my

Bathroom there is a

Tile shaped like a dick